Am I running away from, or running towards something?

Addicts and alcoholics are natural escape artists. Every drink, every hit we took, was to escape. We wanted to escape the pain, the emotions, the feelings, the husband, the wife, the kids, the job. We lived to use and use to live. Now we’re confronted with reality, what we’re left with once we come to recovery and stay clean and sober. We have to face life on life’s terms. What do we do? We can either face it head on by working the steps or turn and run. If we run, are we running away from something or towards something?

How do we know the difference?

Wherever we go, we take the disease with us. We are used to running from things like responsibility, the law, the ex, reality. We rarely run towards anything, we run from things. How do we know the difference? We have to ask ourselves some important questions:

First, we check how we’re doing spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

1. Am I going through some sort of crisis or situation that makes me feel uncomfortable?
2. Have I talked to my sponsor and support group about what’s going on with me?
3. Do I feel dissatisfied with some area of my life?
4. Did something happen that made me feel scared or confused?

We really have to examine our deepest feelings, not just the surface stuff. We have to check our motives and decide if we’re making a decision to leave out of fear, or out of hope for something better.

We look at our lives by working the steps

We get to know who we really are, and what we really want in life. We don’t know what’s waiting for us in the future. Through the steps we begin to trust our Higher Power and turn our will over with the understanding that His will for us is what’s best. This is the real question we must ask ourselves, am I living in my Higher Power’s will? How do we know? Usually, the path is clear and easy to see. There are no roadblocks or hurdles. If we make a decision to go in a different direction, we may find ourselves in situations with difficulties or have a hard time. This isn’t always the case, however, the longer we stay clean and sober, we come to rely upon that little voice, especially when life shows up.

Emotional maturity comes with time, sobriety and guidance

Every day when we wake up, we make a decision to not have a drink or drug. We live our lives and when situations happen, we stay calm and do our best to understand. We pray, a lot, always for God’s for us. Our values have changed and developed for the better. Our Higher Power’s will for us is always good. We may not realize this right away, but the longer we stay clean and sober, the sooner we will know. Emotional maturity comes with time, sobriety and guidance. We no longer have to be that little child that has a tantrum when things don’t go our way. We no longer have to be the teenager that runs away from home just because “they don’t understand…” We are no longer running away because we can’t accept reality.

Homegroup and support wherever we go

We may be given a job offer, or a family member out of state needs our help or we’ve met the love our life and they live over 300 miles away. These are things we may be running towards, yet we still have to examine what lies beneath our seemingly “pure” motives. Do we move away because we are really ok with who we are and where are in life? By moving, are we are adding to our life’s experience and not because we want to escape it? Only you can answer these questions. Be sure to remember that wherever we go, we take ourselves with us. Running towards something can have it rewards, running from something can have its consequences. We just need to be prepared, either way. Whatever we decide, we can always find meetings, a new homegroup and support wherever we go. And we can stay clean and sober.