One of the most difficult things to do, especially for a loved one, is to watch them battle addiction. For many of us, our first instinct when seeing someone in trouble, especially for parents, is to help. But many times this “help” is actually hurting – and you could be enabling addictive behavior.

How do you know? Like many issues dealing with drug or alcohol abuse, there are no easy answers. What’s worse, realizing that you are enabling addictive behavior is a difficult emotion to deal with – and many enablers make excuses for their own -- and their addicted loved one’s behavior.

Below are some examples of enabling an addict. If they sound familiar to you, it is time to get help. Professional addiction specialists, like those at 12 Palms Recovery Center, understand that stopping enabling a drug or alcohol abuser is not an easy decision.

Calling in “sick” for the addict. “Covering” for an addict when they are too drunk or high to work may feel like you are helping him/her keep a job. But long term, it only reinforces the addictive behavior.

Giving them money. Even if an addict claims they need money for food, clothing or paying bills, their mental state is being controlled by alcohol or drugs. Most likely, the money will be used to find the next high, and you have essentially become their drug dealer.

Bailing them out of jail or getting legal help for them. Part of the recovery process is learning to take responsibility for your actions, especially those caused by alcohol or drug abuse. It may seem cruel, but unfortunately, legal troubles are a harsh reality for many addicts.

Believing their lies again and again. If the story sounds fishy, it probably is. Understand that doubting an addict is telling the truth isn’t cruel – it’s reality. Remember, addiction is a powerful disease which causes those afflicted to do almost anything – even if it means lying to someone they love.

Avoiding discussions of their substance abuse. You may fear that talking about a loved one’s substance abuse will “make things worse.” However, just the opposite is true. Making their drug or alcohol abuse uncomfortable may actually help speed an acceptance of a need for help.

As Dr. Phil once said on his popular television show, being an enabler is like putting bullets into a gun pointed at your loved one. Understanding what enabling is, and learning ways to recognize enabling behavior are important steps to helping you and your family.

If you believe you or someone you know is enabling an addict, call 12 Palms Recovery Center today and speak to a caring addiction specialist. They’ll help you recognize enabling behavior and how to stop it. Even if you are unable to convince your addicted loved one seek help, you can refuse to support his/her addiction.