How to have fun and stay clean and sober

By the time most of us finally make it to the rooms of recovery, our idea of being social was keeping our seat warm at the bar. Perhaps standing in line at the coffee pot at our first meeting, we were greeted with a handshake or a hug, our first physical contact with another human that wasn’t violent or sexual. It’s difficult for addicts and alcoholics to get chummy, especially now without the “liquid courage” to hide our awkwardness. So, we clutch our styro cup of coffee tightly and venture to a seat in the back of the room.

After coming to the same meeting for a few weeks, the same person says, “Hi” to us again, and this time asks, “How are you? Do you have plans after the meeting?” After mumbling an incoherent response, we discover we’ve been invited to coffee after the meeting. While at coffee, we’re introduced to a few other members of the fellowship. Wait a minute, they’re telling jokes and laughing! They’re having fun! In fact, no one’s even drinking alcohol. They’re all stone-cold sober! How can this be? How can they be carrying on and having a good time without a drink or drug? Baffled, yet feeling exhilarated by the laughter, we smile.

Am I running away from, or running towards something?

Addicts and alcoholics are natural escape artists. Every drink, every hit we took, was to escape. We wanted to escape the pain, the emotions, the feelings, the husband, the wife, the kids, the job. We lived to use and use to live. Now we’re confronted with reality, what we’re left with once we come to recovery and stay clean and sober. We have to face life on life’s terms. What do we do? We can either face it head on by working the steps or turn and run. If we run, are we running away from something or towards something?

How do we know the difference?

Wherever we go, we take the disease with us. We are used to running from things like responsibility, the law, the ex, reality. We rarely run towards anything, we run from things. How do we know the difference? We have to ask ourselves some important questions:

Why Meetings are an Important Part of Recovery

“Meetings makers make it” we are told when we first arrive in the rooms of recovery. “Make what?”, you ask? Addicts and alcoholics that go to meetings are more likely to stay clean and sober. Another old saying, “People who don’t go to meetings, don’t get to hear about what happens to people who don’t go meetings,” is also true. So, we go to meetings.

At first, we’re told to do “90 meetings in 90 days,” or a meeting a day for 90 days. It takes the human brain about 90 days to learn a new habit. When we’re new to recovery, a new habit is exactly what we need. And many of us don’t realize that we get to go meetings. We go to a meeting every night, so that we can hear the message. The NA message is “An addict, any addict, can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use and find a new way to live.” We go to meetings to find a sponsor, make new friends and build a support group. It is around this time it is suggested we get a homegroup.

Twelfth Step: We Spiritually Awoke, Carried the Message and Practiced

“Having had a spiritual awakening as result of these steps we tried to carry this message to addicts/alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs”

The first and foremost Spiritual Principle in Step Twelve is Service. It would seem the Twelfth Step would be a culmination of all the previous steps. In a way it is, but we are also introduced to a few new ones, too. Among them is Service as the basis for this Step, and for that we are grateful. For without the Spiritual Principle of Service, none of us would even know about 12 Step Programs. Everyone that is in recovery is so, due to this step. Someone in recovery created, printed and brought meeting lists to the probation/parole office. Someone in recovery introduced our judicial system to the benefits of meetings. Someone in recovery brought a meeting to a facility where we were institutionalized. Someone built a website, telling us about AA or NA in our area, region and around the world. Someone created a recording or answered the phone when we called the helpline. Thank goodness for all these “somoenes” as they did so as volunteers and in service to their fellowship. We are all here because someone else was of service.

Eleventh Step: We Sought

“We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.”

The main Spiritual Principle of Step Eleven is Spirituality. What is Spirituality? The beautiful thing about AA and NA is that Spirituality is whatever you decide it to be. Neither the program nor the fellowship can decide for you. Although by the time we’ve reached this step, we already have a relationship with a God of our understanding. It is in the Eleventh Step where we”…improve our conscious contact with God.” We do what we can to enhance this relationship further.