Repairing the Damage

Escaping an addiction is a life-saving achievement, but it doesn’t mean everything is going to be restored right away. It can take a long time to repair the destruction caused by years of substance abuse, including rebuilding relationships. It may take some time to regain the trust and respect of people who have been hurt; there may even be relationships that are unsalvageable. Not everyone will be ready to forgive and forget. And while the threat of losing a relationship is a common reason why substance abusers finally get help for their addiction, just giving up alcohol or drugs alone may not be enough to repair the damage.

Setting Realistic Expectations

It is vital that people who are new to recovery have realistic expectations about their relationships. Years of hurt and disappointment cannot be put right overnight. The newly sober person has to work to regain any lost trust. The best way they can do this is by staying sober and building a good life in recovery. They need to accept that they have caused pain and be willing to give these people the space and time to heal.

Addiction Treatment and Rehabilitation

Parents don’t know how to parent a young adult who is an alcoholic and/or drug addict. Period! What they do know, is that there comes a point when they reach outside of themselves, their family unit and ask for help. Usually, when everything they have tried to do to save their child from alcohol and drug addiction hasn’t worked. And, when they get to this point, we the addiction professionals can hear their emotional exhaustion and psychological desperation. But most importantly, we can hear the unconditional love that they have for their children. We can only hear it, if we are actually listening. And if we are listening; it is that love, that bond that we the professionals should be nurturing.

We should be utilizing every clinical skill we have attained to strengthen the individual and secure the foundation of their relationships, which are based on unconditional love.

When addiction to drugs or alcohol affects the life of a family member, their struggles affect your life, too. Their behavior and actions can cause you stress, worry and pain, but perhaps the most difficult aspect of addiction is the feeling of powerlessness to make the situation better. Unfortunately, feelings of guilt, shame, denial and anger can take the focus off of what is most needed, which is to get them the help they need to recover and heal. And while an integral part of any recovery program begins with an addict accepting that they have a problem and wanting help, it is also important for family members to understand that recovery should include family addiction support programs that help the family as well.

Addiction may affect each family member or friend differently. Children of an addict may feel guilty and responsible for the problem. They often experience depression, anxiety and low self-esteem, and many attempt to deflect attention from the addiction by either acting ‘too perfect’, or by acting out with behaviors such as lying, stealing, or fighting.