Eight Step: We Become Willing

“We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”

Many Old Timers believe the Spiritual Principle of Brotherly Love is the basis of Step Eight. We must first remember the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous was written in a time when this was a commonly used phrase. For our purposes, Brotherly Love is showing kindness and compassion towards others without expecting anything in return. We are finally on a step where it’s no longer making things right within ourselves; we can start making things right with others.

The loss of a loved one is never an easy topic, regardless of the contributing circumstances. If you have lost a loved one to a drug or alcohol-related overdose, we at the 12 Palms Recovery Center extend our deepest sympathies to you.

During this difficult period, please give yourself time to grieve. As you know, your life will be changed forever. Grief recovery is a process that can take a long time for you to heal emotionally. Please be patient with yourself and accept the various emotions that you will experience. You will likely experience many different emotions that will include sadness, anger and self-blame. It is important to remind yourself that the passing of a loved one due to an overdose is not your fault. You, as a loved one, can only provide support to another. You cannot control or change another.

Are you struggling with drug and/or alcohol addiction? Do you suspect a loved one might be? Drug and alcohol addiction is a pervasive issue in this country that affects the lives of countless millions. In fact, more than 8 percent of the U.S. population is reportedly dependent on drugs and/or alcohol, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). And sadly, more than 94 percent of these individuals claim to not need treatment.

There are many steps to addiction recovery and the first step is to admit there is a problem. Knowing the symptoms of addiction can help you or a loved one break through the denial that is common in addiction. The next step is to seek addiction treatment. It cannot be stressed enough that addiction is a complicated disease that requires professional treatment.

Addiction and Codependency: Breaking the Cycle of Enabling

Drug and alcohol addiction affects the addict and everyone around them. It’s this circle of influence that plays a key role in either enabling the drug or alcohol addiction, or encouraging recovery. That’s why it is crucial to understand the fine line between encouraging your loved one to get help – or becoming codependent and helping to maintain the addict’s destructive behavior.

Why do some people become addicted, while others do not? Studies of identical twins indicate that as much as half of an individual's risk of becoming addicted to alcohol, or other drugs depends on his or her genes. Pinning down the biological basis for this risk is an important avenue of research for scientists trying to solve the problem of drug abuse.

Genes – functional units that make up our DNA – provide the information that directs our bodies' basic cellular activities. Research on the human genome has shown that the DNA sequences of any two individuals are 99.9% identical. However, that 0.1% variation is profoundly important, contributing to visible differences, like height and hair color, and to invisible differences, such as increased risk for heart disease, stroke, diabetes…and addiction.

Ninth Step: We Make Amends

“We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

Many believe the main Spiritual Principle behind Step Nine is Justice. It is in this Step where we make right the wrongs we have done. By the time we’ve reached this Step, we are ready to make our amends. First, what is an amends? Most anyone in recovery will agree, an amends is not merely saying we’re sorry. How many times did we cry, “I’ll never do that again” or “I’m so, so sorry, I really mean it this time!” and “I promise, I will do better next time…” Only to repeatedly neglect our promise and continue to plead for forgiveness for hurting our loved ones. An actual amends is a change in behavior. We make an amends to no longer repeat the actions that causes harm.

Regardless of who you are, the power of positive influences in one’s life cannot be underestimated. Positive influences can help inspire and motivate you. It stands to reason, that if you surround yourself with positive people and pleasant experiences, then your mental energy can be shifted to a higher, more harmonious level with the world.

In addiction recovery, positive influences are important to help support long-term recovery efforts. Positive influences, such as your group sponsor or a close friend can offer support for you during trying times. Such individuals have your best interests at heart and can encourage you to believe in yourself and set healthy goals in life. Positive influences can come in many forms. Letting go of the negative influences in your life can make room for positive energy to flow in. Where does one find positive influences?

Okay, so you are considering entering a rehab treatment program. Have you considered what life after rehab is like? What happens when you leave the facility? Where and how does one begin a clean and sober life? What are the steps you can take now to start planning for long-term recovery?

Life after rehab needs to be carefully planned in order to support lasting recovery efforts. At the 12 Palms Recovery Center, we offer Individualized After Rehab Care Planning and work with our clients to develop a tailored plan of action that supports life after rehab. After Rehab Care Planning equips clients with the tools necessary to confidently re-enter society and gain a greater chance at long-term recovery.

Roadblocks to Drug and Alcohol Recovery

In psychoanalysis, the ego is the division of the psyche that is conscious; it controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality. It is your ego which also gives you self-pride and self-esteem, which are crucial for happiness and success in life. However, if you or someone you love is addicted to drugs or alcohol, the ego can also become a major roadblock to recovery. An exaggerated sense of self-importance and conceit can trigger negative emotions that make it harder for an addict to realize that they need help, and can increase resistance to seeking help as well.

Ego may cause a drug user to ignore or deny the fact that his or her drug use is getting worse or is out of control. He or she may believe that quitting drug use would be a sign of weakness, and the idea of surrender is not an attractive concept. Many people with substance abuse issues truly believe that they are in complete control. Drug Rehab and recovery for individuals with a strong ego can be especially difficult, because they often enter rehab to appease those around them, but don’t genuinely believe that they need it. The may also fall prey to ego-driven thoughts, such as:

In Part One of this blog, we investigated how the ego can be a major roadblock to recovery by making it harder for an addict to realize that they need help, and how it can increase their resistance to seeking help as well. However, even if an addict overcomes this block to recovery and undergoes rehab treatment, they must remain vigiliant to ego- driven emotions that can undermine treatment and lead to a relapse of self-defeating behaviors, including: